Dear readers,
On this day back in 1990 I was born. I’m happy it happened. I wonder if this is the only time it’ll happen. I’m glad I’m here while you are. Here’s to another year round the sun.
I present a long form poetic exploration for the day. Then a scribble from the heart down below. Thank you for bearing witness to what I do and letting it move you in the ways it happens to.
Being Longing
Lungs fill
slowly peeling from the ribs that remember them
and hold them in a firm cradle
I lift myself into him
and he receives the force of my breath
my portion of Life indwelling
poured out for a moment
in the heat of wanting
without grasping
There is a patience to longing if you let it be
if you let it just be… longing
Be not short with the time we have now
be long
and patient
and trusting
belong in this moment
Did you know you can eat flowers that grow in the backyard?
Did you know the bliss that lies in a bite of breadfruit?
Loneliness is eased by the gaze of safe eyes
The cessation of ideas about who somebody might be
is the start of seeing them as they are — stark and constant
….projections prove so flimsy next to the real thing!
I long for the skin of my new stranger like a fern reaches for the sun
to contain his breath
a touch held longer than time
a pulse that quickens then stills
an exhale that slowly dissolves
like the body released from suffering
or the tormented mind letting go
and realizing it was all a dream
Loneliness is eased by the habit of returning
time and time again
to the total reality of form that eventually fades
to soft hands that long to touch forever but must part
Loneliness is eased by the pure possibility of being known
in our private pains
in that wide frame of a nameless gaze
He said all he needed to say with the eyes
that were more like portals
or darkening skies
I have searched for nirvana in the fields of golden cows
and given alms to gods of many kinds
there is much to see but much to leave behind
I think we both just want to be found
to die free and smiling
A Christ and a Brahmin side by side
Go softly into the night
there are textures in the silence between us
and if we keep listening who knows what subtle joys might sound
Trying new things…
I’m trying a reasonably regular practise of random calligraphy shape-making each day (now that I’ve been taught the basics by my friend David Chang). I am, of course quite terrible, but there’s a certain character to the childlike reaching… or one might say, longing, in the lines. I enjoy how it slows down my mind. The words that come up right before the tool hits the page feel like mantra’s I need for day. I try to simply follow that inky trail. I remember David saying it’s all about the intention you cultivate within and apply when you first makes contact with the surface. It makes me think of the way I devote deep focus to the first note I sing at a concert. The first slicing of the air with my voice and the energy of that vibration going outward - the intention embodied. Perhaps this is Life at its core. An intention embodied.
Let me also say, that if the intention is to grow then much may have to die in the process. As I continue in my season of fermentation (how I wish it would lift overnight and that I could find myself revived like all the spring buds around me) I am trusting the time it is taking. Attempting to at least. Perhaps “embodied intention” also means we must stay with our bodies even when they are intending something for us that we do not see or understand yet. Furthermore (there’s more?!) stay with the intention even if your body wants to run…
My intention these days is to just keep going. No feeling is final.
Love Reigns Supreme. Don’t Give Up.
Till next time,
Happy Birthday Kimbra! Thank you for existing the way you do. You're a blessing and one big inspiration for so many of us! Today, I had been blasting all the possible recordings I could find of 'Foolish Thinking' on repeat and can't help but be grateful for all the amazing things that you offer. Best wishes from Nepal. Cheers!
Happy Birthday, Kimbra! Hope this finds you in good health, abundant joy, and entangled in that endearing sense of wonder that embodies you!