the body and the caterpillar
a poem about change.
Lately, I have taken to long-form musings that begin as poems then veer into dream-like tangents, switching from me to you to we and her and this. I enjoy stretching time, place, and people through words. This is the beauty of poetry; it breaks rules and uses imagination, exploration, and teleportation to express both the absurd and the pure beauty of being. I’ve been contemplating the poetry of a butterfly and the faith it takes to wait for our inevitable transformation, to welcome it rather than resist it. So, here is my Sunday offering. And if you happen to see a caterpillar in the coming weeks, or her vibrant sequel, the majestic butterfly, tell her: thank you. Teachers are everywhere. They often move in silence.
Selah.
the body and the caterpillar
once again
the body swells and deflates
animated by time
why is death the worst pain
but to stub a toe, so small?
we point at things and say
”this is a little pain”
”this is a big pain”
but it’s all pain
it’s all change
we fear what is foreign
what is odd and strange
the belly swells and deflates
the body inflames and exhales
breathing in
breathing out
we see this moment as fleeting
and death lasting a lifetime
but they are not so different
we hold so tight that the minutes turn to hours
the days to months and years
but it is all the same
we are the myth we cling to
we attract who we are
that wretched blessing and curse
we find our tribe
but we will not recognize them
till the body shows us ourselves
and the body will always speak
if you we are listening
God finds you in the liminal spaces
when the road grows dim
when you are out of the way
and there is no self to call on
this is the place right before she arrives
where the air is thin
and there is no bearing
but the starkness of time
”crazy time”
it feels as though
it lasts for years
but it is a moment
with likeness to every moment
swell
deflate
fill
empty
inflame
heal
we all have our place under the sun
how could it be any other way?
the light hits every living thing
and once we leave
this clumsy form
we will take these phantom limbs into flight
like the caterpillar does
knowing her time has come
she bundles herself in a foetal folding
surrendering to sleep
knowing her wake is near
what faith does it take
to enter that dream?
the seemingly endless in-between?
to know with such fervour
that you will soon fly?
that one day you will be rid of this
finite arrangement of cells
and legs that creep
and make children cry
this sedation of fleshly containment
this patient path of air you found
teaches you what happens
when time is your friend
not some terrible vengeance
that hunts you down
in the night
and presses on your organs
till they swell and writhe
you knew this dragging of skin
was just the beginning
of many changes
you carry
and the evidence was all around
so you point to the great sky
with that small twig of an arm
and that unconscious twitch of a leg
you tell us death is no different
to a child being born
screaming like a siren
to signal her place in the world
no different to the last breath
or the bowing of the sun in the night
it is all change
and we are always changing
somehow you knew
you were destined for revision
maturing like water
that never shows her age
a river knows to keep moving
and you knew this too
as you curled up inside that golden cocoon
as a grub you only saw the ground
but when you wake from that dream
from that transitory state
you’ll emerge as a tapestry
of chrome neon paintings
splattered like God’s work
all over your wings
you and your body and ambition
have travelled together
unraveled and rearranged together
into a new votive of sacred expression
the old self is gone
but only to her form
for the memory is shared
of the begotten made aware
and sometimes
in the wideness of time
that echo of atoms seeps into your bounds
to remind you of who you were
who you will always be
and that you will always
be
A final note…
Would you like to have deeper discussions about the themes we explore here on my Substack? Perhaps discuss your create projects with me or ask questions about my process as an artist? I have a special space for this called The Koru. If you feel it could add value to your life, you can start your Founding Member subscription right now and join me on October 29th and 5pm EST for our final live Zoom event of the year. Read this post for more details. It’s going to be great and I’d love to see you there.
love it 🦋
sahWEET!