I always look forward to new posts from you. This one I read Sunday morning by the fire of what maybe the first real Sunday of autumn here in Massachusetts. This post sucked me in as I’ve had panic attacks just about everywhere, including a workout class. Your writing takes a big of the weight of life away. Thanks for being here.
I really like your writing. With regard to this post I am reminded that it is not what you experience, but how you react that is helpful or not. I too jump out of my skin at sudden loud noises
Yet again I was able to pick a beautiful time to read your latest post. It's a rainy Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend Monday morning here and I have a coffee in one hand and your post in the other and I know it's a bit crazy how reading about someone else's panic or anxiety attack can be calming to me but I guess it's just reassuring to me to see that it can and does happen to anyone including an awesome talent such as you. Thank you for sharing your experience and being able to articulate it so well. It always amazes me how people are able to write down their feelings and thoughts with relative ease like you have been doing. It's not something I am able to do and even writing this reply here leaves me searching for the right words (I'm no wordsmith haha) so again thank you because what you do, both in music and writing and everything else, does bring so much good into the world. Keep it up K!
Thanks for sharing this moment. It would seem so trivial by the standards of the Universe but in our corporeal being on this planet, these moments become our Universe. We sink or swim in our navigation of these storms. It's those little things that can just derail everything...that pebble on the train tracks that sits perfectly to throw the train into the ravine. For many of the reasons you write about, New York would eat me alive like that. I both marvel and wince at anyones ability to live there in the heart of it. When I have to go to the Capital in my state, (Providence), I have a visceral physical sensation to flee as quickly as I can. I had to leave there to get sober as drinking was not the reason for my issues, just a symptom of my universe. I lived in the heart of it for so long and when I was finally able to extricate myself, I figured that living just on the periphery in a small house, (with 2 of the only trees on the block!), just far enough and away from the compressed bustle of humanity, and is quiet enough, would perhaps BE enough. The joke that the universe played on me is that one of the campuses I work at is right in the heart of the city and is literally across the street from a previous incarnation of myself, where, my artistic life soared, my inner turmoil and embarrasement flourished and many relationships came and went, for good or bad. I am literally forced to revisit the battle fields of me, 22 years ago 2 or 3 times a week. The ghosts are as silent as they are screaming in my head and I have no choice at the moment but to entertain them. That you can also pivot the loss of the inhaler as a blessing for someone else is hopeful and teared me up a bit. That's a honed skill that perhaps could only be honed in a place like that. Take care as always Kimbra.
Wood have liked to send you some fresh air ....and some quiettness , which is a rare good even here . I got the same problem with noises as you have 🤤Days ago i tought one of this sort of watertanks in which you can lay in , wood fullfill my needs in in this matter ....althoug your dog wood probably not be as enthousistic 🌞👍
So you left the 'class' without having participated . -/ I enjoid your storytelling ,and i must say i was surprized to hear about your problems with your Respiratory Organs ! ( sorry for my really bad english . Next time i gonns use the translater ) I regret that you cant switch to pure nature with a ....... Fresh air wood probably easy your pains for shure !??
I am walking in a wood in northern Italy right now .
Yes, gorgeous and true. This is one of the central ideas I spend most of my days thinking about. Such a lovely surprise to get these words from you . . . although "surprise" isn't really the right word. Years ago, "Love In High Places" helped get me through one of the darkest periods of my life.
Would love to interview you on this topic! 🙃
Not expecting that to happen! 😜 Either way, just wanted to express my gratitude for your path, including this courageous turn towards sharing your prose. 🥰
You're speaking my language, Kimbra! I'm a bit of a tree hugger myself. My favorite at home in Georgia is a White Oak, or Alba quercus. My second favorite is Fringetree--Chionanthus virginicus. Also known as Grancy Graybeard. When I lived in the North Country of Duluth Minnesota, my favorite was White Paper Birch. Native Ojibwe used the bark for baskets and canoes. Thank you for sharing your journey!
I always look forward to new posts from you. This one I read Sunday morning by the fire of what maybe the first real Sunday of autumn here in Massachusetts. This post sucked me in as I’ve had panic attacks just about everywhere, including a workout class. Your writing takes a big of the weight of life away. Thanks for being here.
I really like your writing. With regard to this post I am reminded that it is not what you experience, but how you react that is helpful or not. I too jump out of my skin at sudden loud noises
Thank you.
Yet again I was able to pick a beautiful time to read your latest post. It's a rainy Canadian Thanksgiving long weekend Monday morning here and I have a coffee in one hand and your post in the other and I know it's a bit crazy how reading about someone else's panic or anxiety attack can be calming to me but I guess it's just reassuring to me to see that it can and does happen to anyone including an awesome talent such as you. Thank you for sharing your experience and being able to articulate it so well. It always amazes me how people are able to write down their feelings and thoughts with relative ease like you have been doing. It's not something I am able to do and even writing this reply here leaves me searching for the right words (I'm no wordsmith haha) so again thank you because what you do, both in music and writing and everything else, does bring so much good into the world. Keep it up K!
Thanks for sharing this moment. It would seem so trivial by the standards of the Universe but in our corporeal being on this planet, these moments become our Universe. We sink or swim in our navigation of these storms. It's those little things that can just derail everything...that pebble on the train tracks that sits perfectly to throw the train into the ravine. For many of the reasons you write about, New York would eat me alive like that. I both marvel and wince at anyones ability to live there in the heart of it. When I have to go to the Capital in my state, (Providence), I have a visceral physical sensation to flee as quickly as I can. I had to leave there to get sober as drinking was not the reason for my issues, just a symptom of my universe. I lived in the heart of it for so long and when I was finally able to extricate myself, I figured that living just on the periphery in a small house, (with 2 of the only trees on the block!), just far enough and away from the compressed bustle of humanity, and is quiet enough, would perhaps BE enough. The joke that the universe played on me is that one of the campuses I work at is right in the heart of the city and is literally across the street from a previous incarnation of myself, where, my artistic life soared, my inner turmoil and embarrasement flourished and many relationships came and went, for good or bad. I am literally forced to revisit the battle fields of me, 22 years ago 2 or 3 times a week. The ghosts are as silent as they are screaming in my head and I have no choice at the moment but to entertain them. That you can also pivot the loss of the inhaler as a blessing for someone else is hopeful and teared me up a bit. That's a honed skill that perhaps could only be honed in a place like that. Take care as always Kimbra.
Wood have liked to send you some fresh air ....and some quiettness , which is a rare good even here . I got the same problem with noises as you have 🤤Days ago i tought one of this sort of watertanks in which you can lay in , wood fullfill my needs in in this matter ....althoug your dog wood probably not be as enthousistic 🌞👍
So you left the 'class' without having participated . -/ I enjoid your storytelling ,and i must say i was surprized to hear about your problems with your Respiratory Organs ! ( sorry for my really bad english . Next time i gonns use the translater ) I regret that you cant switch to pure nature with a ....... Fresh air wood probably easy your pains for shure !??
I am walking in a wood in northern Italy right now .
"Our bodies know what we need before our minds."
Yes, gorgeous and true. This is one of the central ideas I spend most of my days thinking about. Such a lovely surprise to get these words from you . . . although "surprise" isn't really the right word. Years ago, "Love In High Places" helped get me through one of the darkest periods of my life.
Would love to interview you on this topic! 🙃
Not expecting that to happen! 😜 Either way, just wanted to express my gratitude for your path, including this courageous turn towards sharing your prose. 🥰
You're speaking my language, Kimbra! I'm a bit of a tree hugger myself. My favorite at home in Georgia is a White Oak, or Alba quercus. My second favorite is Fringetree--Chionanthus virginicus. Also known as Grancy Graybeard. When I lived in the North Country of Duluth Minnesota, my favorite was White Paper Birch. Native Ojibwe used the bark for baskets and canoes. Thank you for sharing your journey!
I don’t have panic attacks, but have several friends and a granddaughter who do; and I have been there for them.
...sometimes in the middle of the night.
I did have vertigo for about 20 years, and it can cause a similar type of feelings & reaction...
Luckily, I was able to find relief from that a couple years ago...what a blessing!!!
I do NOT like loud sounds & when raising 5 +1 sons; I was constantly telling them “will you please turn that down”! (Sometimes with more vigor)
Thanks for sharing all your inner turmoil and thoughts!
It helps all of us realize that it is OK not to be perfect!